Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
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