I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
