Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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