Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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