I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
