I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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