Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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