She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
