At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
