dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
