We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
