Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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