I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
