We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
