The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
