I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Oh god it's open bar.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
