my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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