Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
