i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
