I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
