I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
