Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
