i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
