Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Say something about gay babies.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
