So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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