They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
