Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
