hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
