I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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