She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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