dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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