what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
