you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
