My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
