I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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