5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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