he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
