Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
