So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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