im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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