and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
do herpes really smell.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
