so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
