how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
