I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
