it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
