we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
my liver is dry heaving
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
