i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
