My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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