chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
