I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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